lawyer jokes

This site is dedicated to making fun of lawyers and the legal profession. If you want lawyer jokes you have come to the right place. Of course, if you are a lawyer you should probably leave before you sue us for emotional distress.

lawyer jokes are popular because they tap into common perceptions of lawyers, frustrations with the legal system. Okay, but where can I find funny lawyer videos and jokes? Right here of course. Here is a lawyer joke for you:

How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?

Just say "fees!"

How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?

Just say "fees!"

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and the other is a fish.

The Lying Dog

One day, a lawyer was walking down the street when he saw a sign in front of a house that read, "Talking Dog for Sale." Curious, the lawyer went to the house and asked the owner if he could see the dog. The owner led him to the backyard where a Labrador Retriever was sitting.

"Can your dog really talk?" asked the lawyer skeptically.

"Sure can!" said the owner. "Ask him a question!"

The lawyer, still not convinced, decided to test the dog. "Okay, boy," he said, pointing to the owner. "Who is the best lawyer in town?"

The dog didn't say anything. The owner looked at the dog and said, "He's not responding because you pointed at me. Point to him and ask again."

The lawyer, surprised by the dog's apparent understanding, pointed to the dog and asked again, "Okay, boy, who is the best lawyer in town?"

The dog looked at the lawyer and said, "Why, you are, of course!"

The lawyer was thrilled but also somewhat embarrassed. "I can't believe it," he said. "This dog can actually talk!"

As he was leaving, the lawyer asked the owner how much he wanted for the dog. The owner replied, "Ten dollars."

"Ten dollars?!" exclaimed the lawyer. "This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because," said the owner with a smile, "he's such a liar."